Stop the Hustle, You are Enough
The route of understanding our worthiness is unique to each of us, though I am convinced the sooner we grasp our worthiness the quicker our hustle for it will end. There are moments for each of us that begin to help us see our past or current hustle for enoughness, and these are the moments that we begin to shed the hustle and live in worthiness. Worthiness is not something to be earned or proved; it is a fundamental right that every person deserves simply by being human.
You might know that I was a college athlete. I played a couple of years at the University of Florida and a couple of years at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. There was continually an opportunity to perform or prove myself as a college athlete. And depending on how I was measuring up in those areas affected my overall wellbeing (that could be a whole blog in itself). In the spring after my last fall of collegiate soccer, I had a friend that was training for the Charlotte Observer Marathon. When she would go for her runs, I would often join her, as did other friends. This opportunity to run alongside her as she trained provided an opportunity for a shift in my worthiness. It was no longer about competing, performing, or being the best, it was about being. Being with a friend as she accomplished a goal, being grateful that I could physically run, being content that there was nothing to prove or be earned. It helped me begin to shed the hustle, that me being me was all I had to be. It was freeing.
This spring many of you might have been watching the final season of Succession. Maybe one of my overarching takeaways from the show was the hustle of the four children, Kendall, Roman, Shiv, and Connor for worthiness. It played out in their attempt to win favor and position with their dad, in the unhealthy aspects of their relationships, and in their struggle to love themselves and others. Worthiness is an inherent trait that every individual possesses by virtue of their existence. It is not dependent on external validation or achievements. I would be curious to know who in the show you considered to have a true sense of worthiness?
We might find ourselves thinking the following “I statements” about worthiness…I might be worthy if I save X amount of money. I might be worthy if I could just get the promotion at work. I might be worthy if I weighed X, and so many more. Pause and consider how you would complete the “I statement” for yourself.
When you feel outside of worthiness, here are two things to consider:
1. Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on the underlying reasons why you may feel unworthy. Is it based on unrealistic expectations, comparison to others, or past experiences? Identifying the root causes can help you challenge and reframe those beliefs, fostering a healthier sense of self-worth.
2. Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness and understanding. Recognize that everyone has moments of doubt or feelings of unworthiness, and it's essential to be gentle with yourself during these times. Embrace self-care activities, seek support from loved ones, and practice positive affirmations to counter negative self-perceptions.
Recognizing and embracing one's worthiness is essential for cultivating self-acceptance, building healthy relationships, and pursuing personal growth and fulfillment. The Halos Counseling Team is here to support you through your discovery of worthiness. Reach out to us to schedule a free consult to determine if we're a good fit for you.