The Power of Acceptance and Belonging

I recently listened to a podcast interview with Michelle Obama about her latest book, The Light We Carry. The interviewer shared that she often finds herself asking the questions “Are we supposed to change our kids for this world?” or “Change this world for our kids?” The interviewer expressed that Michelle offered this third option. When she was a kid, if she was complaining about how the people in the world were responding to her, who liked her, who didn’t, etc…her mom would say, “Come home, we always like you here.” By that response her mom always offered home and herself as a safe sanctuary from the uncontrollable world and people. This sense of acceptance and belonging in her home was the base for her “enoughness.”

Michelle’s story illustrates the importance of acceptance and belonging.  Here are several benefits of having a sense of acceptance and belonging:

1.     Emotional well-being: Experiencing acceptance and belonging can promote emotional well-being by reducing stress, anxiety, and negative emotions. Accepting ourselves and others for who they are, without judgment or criticism, can create a sense of peace and inner calm.

2. Positive relationships: Acceptance and belonging can also foster positive relationships by promoting empathy, understanding, and connection. When we accept others for who they are, we can build stronger and more meaningful relationships based on mutual respect and trust.

3. Personal growth: Experiencing acceptance and belonging can also promote personal growth and development. By accepting ourselves and others, we can learn from our mistakes, overcome challenges, and cultivate a growth mindset that allows us to adapt and thrive in a constantly changing world. Acceptance can also help us to develop greater self-awareness, resilience, and compassion.

4.     Sense of connection: Acceptance and belonging can create a sense of connection with others, allowing us to feel that we are part of a community or group. This connection can help to reduce feelings of isolation, loneliness, and alienation, and promote a sense of unity and shared purpose.

5.     Self-esteem: Acceptance and belonging can also enhance our self-esteem by providing us with a sense of validation from others. When we feel that we belong, we are more likely to feel good about ourselves, have a positive self-image, and feel confident in our abilities.

6.     Support and collaboration: Acceptance and belonging can also provide us with support and collaboration from others. When we belong to a group, we can draw on the strengths and resources of others, share knowledge and skills, and work together to achieve common goals. This support and collaboration can lead to greater success, fulfillment, and happiness.

7.     Greater life satisfaction: Finally, a sense of acceptance and belonging can contribute to greater life satisfaction by providing us with a sense of purpose, fulfillment, and meaning. When we feel connected to others and have a sense of belonging, we are more likely to feel that our lives are meaningful and worthwhile.

Sometime over the past year, I was sitting at my parents’ house when my brother’s family arrived. His three boys ran into the living room and everyone already there started cheering, asking for hugs, and giving high fives. My sister looked at me and said they are going to be confused later in life when this doesn’t happen everywhere they go. I nodded in agreement, but even now I can easily tear up if I pause and take in this moment of acceptance and belonging the boys receive in the love demonstrated by our family.

I know this isn’t true for everyone. I listen to people’s stories most days and often people haven’t experienced acceptance and belonging, particularly as kids.

So as adults simply acknowledging the significance of acceptance and belonging is not enough; tangible actions can be taken to ensure that you and those around you feel included and valued. Here are some practical steps that can be taken to promote acceptance and belonging:

1.     Practice self-compassion: One way to grow in personal acceptance is to practice self-compassion. This involves treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance, rather than self-criticism and judgment. Self-compassion can help you to accept your flaws and imperfections and cultivate greater self-acceptance.

2.     Cultivate empathy: Cultivating empathy can help you to grow in a sense of belonging by fostering a deeper understanding and connection with others. By putting yourself in someone else's shoes and seeing the world from their perspective, you can develop greater empathy and compassion, which can help to create a sense of belonging and connection.

3.     Engage in activities that align with your values: Engaging in activities that align with your values can help you to feel a greater sense of belonging and personal acceptance. When you participate in activities that reflect your interests, values, and goals, you are more likely to feel a sense of purpose and fulfillment, which can contribute to a greater sense of belonging.

4.     Seek out social support: Seeking out social support can help you to feel a greater sense of belonging and connection with others. This can involve reaching out to friends, family, or community groups for support, or participating in group activities that allow you to connect with others who share similar interests or experiences.

5.     Practice gratitude: Practicing gratitude can help you to grow in personal acceptance and belonging by fostering a greater sense of appreciation and connection with others. By focusing on what you are grateful for in your life, you can cultivate a greater sense of positivity and contentment and develop deeper connections with the people and things that matter most to you.

Go and be around people that show and accept your light. And be that for other people. We can’t control the world, though we can control ourselves and opt to be light for those in our world. We all need acceptance and belonging.

The Halos Counseling Team is here to support you through your journey of acceptance and belonging. Reach out to us to schedule a free consult  to determine if we're a good fit for you.