Effective Strategies for Maintaining Healthy Family Relationships
At the beginning of June, I spent a day in NYC with a good friend, Renee. Years ago, we were college soccer coaches together. In our coaching days, a "two-a-day" would mean two practices in a day. Now, a "two-a-day" was a professional soccer game at Red Bull Arena and the Broadway show Appropriate by Branden Jacobs-Jenkins. I found Appropriate intriguing, particularly its exploration of family dynamics. (And apparently, the theater community did too, as it went on to win a Tony, along with Sarah Paulson for her role as Toni).
In short, the play follows the Lafayette family as they gather to settle their late father's estate, only to discover disturbing artifacts that reveal hidden truths about their family's past and the complexities of familial relationships.
In counseling, family relationships, often referred to as family systems, present all the time in sessions. Family relationships are so layered, so individual, yet so collective. We struggle to grow beyond the patterns of our youth. We struggle to balance the "should haves" with the appropriate boundaries of right expectations. More commonly today, we see family members opt for estrangement. Driven by the questions, "What is the benefit or value of this relationship in my life?" they struggle to find a meaningful answer. In Appropriate, Toni stated it this way: "I’m not going to be the one to bear it anymore. I’m not going to carry this burden for the rest of my life." Similarly, more family members seek emotional liberation from their nuclear family.
So what are strategies to maintain a healthier family unit? Consider these three areas: communication, emotional support and connection, and mutual respect with boundaries.
Assessing communication quality in family relationships involves several key aspects. First, consider the openness and honesty within the family. Healthy relationships typically feature transparent and respectful communication, where family members feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings openly. Next, observe active listening practices, where family members genuinely pay attention and respond thoughtfully to each other's concerns and stories. Finally, evaluate how conflicts are handled. Constructive conflict resolution is crucial for healthy relationships, where disagreements are addressed and resolved without resorting to hurtful behavior or prolonged silent treatment.
Family members should show empathy and strive to understand each other's perspectives and experiences, providing support during difficult times and celebrating successes together. Emotional support should be consistent, with family members being available and willing to help each other through challenges. Additionally, spending quality time together in meaningful ways strengthens bonds and fosters a sense of connection.
Mutual respect and boundaries within families are essential for fostering healthy relationships. Family members should respect each other's individuality, including personal space, opinions, and life choices, while honoring and celebrating their differences. Establishing and respecting clear boundaries is crucial to protect each person's well-being and privacy. Additionally, relationships should be based on equality and fairness, ensuring that no one person holds more power or control over others and that everyone's needs and contributions are valued.
In conclusion, maintaining healthy family relationships requires continuous effort in communication, emotional support, and mutual respect. If you need help navigating family dynamics, reach out to Halos Counseling for professional guidance. This blog was written by Sarah Currie, Ph.D., LCMHC, who is dedicated to helping individuals and families achieve enhanced well-being and self-awareness.