Communication Lessons from the Stranded Motorists
Like any of us that live to be 45, the more you live the more stories you have to communicate your point. These two car stories really occurred during my college years and can be confirmed by my sister, Jill, who attended college with me. So here we go.
As a senior in college, I still needed to meet my language requirement to graduate at Charlotte. So along with my sister, several other soccer teammates, and a few friends we opted to take sign language. I considered this a much better option for me than Spanish, since the English language can be a challenge for me (more on this later). About halfway through the semester, while driving back from South Park Mall on Harris Blvd, Jill and I noticed a woman standing by her car that was pulled over on the side of the road. We looked at each other and probably I more than Jill, though she was still willing, opted to pull over to see if she needed help. As we approached her car, we started to speak to her, and quickly realized that she was deaf. Call it providence, karma, or good will earlier that day in our sign language class we had learned several words pertaining to cars and roads. One of which happened to be the sign for gasoline. Empowered by the right language we were able to communicate with the lady and headed off to get gas for her car. Again, this really happened.
So, my second car story took place within the same year. My sister Jill and I were bringing a love seat sofa to our sister Annie who was attending NC State in Raleigh. Having borrowed my grandparents’ Honda Odyssey, we took the seats out to place the couch length ways in the car. I am sure we were intent on making good time but, as we went to get off the exit in Raleigh once again, we saw a stranded motorist. I think it is important to reference that at this point in life, most people didn’t travel with cell phones. Possibly some people had the old bag phones for their car. Jill and I again looked at each other and opted to stop. As we approached this family, we realized they spoke Spanish. Jill and I both took high school Spanish, though at this time any words outside of how to say our name and ask where the bathroom is had long left both of us. There was not much we could do; our language limited our ability to communicate. They were able to give the written address of where they needed to go. And with that the dad hopped in the front passenger’s side seat and Jill hopped on the love seat in the back with the daughter. Yes, that is right Jill hopped on the love seat in the back with the stranger. That would be a great picture to have today.
Ludwig Wittgenstein states, “the limits of my language mean the limits of my world.” I think the two stories above loosely illustrate this quote. In the first story we were equipped to communicate with the deaf women and in the second we were limited in communicating with the Spanish speaking family.
Although these stories illustrate literal language barriers, relationships often have unspoken language barriers but there are tools available to overcome.
Things to consider about communication:
· Are you listening to understand vs distracted by your need to respond?
· Are you comprehending or reading all that is being communicated to you?
· Are you clear on what you are trying to communicate? Can you be direct?
· Awareness to non-verbal communication
· Openness to how communication can be interpreted by all involved
· Are you using words others can understand? The average American reads at an 8th grade level.
· Are you communicating at the right time? Considering the environment?
· Are you communicating for the right reason?
Communication is having the right language and tools to connect in the moment we need them. How are you continuing to expand your communication skills?
If you need help working on your communication skills reach out to Halos Counseling. We are therapist in Charlotte or Shelby, NC. Schedule a free consult with us to determine if we're a good fit for you.
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