But, And
Life is quite an ordeal. Beautiful; ugly. Joyful; sorrowful. Peaceful; tumultuous. Making sense of life can seem impossible. I’ve faced this barrier many times. 2019 was quite a year. At the end of 2018 I was graduating from grad school. Yay! At the same time my family lost our sweet Caroline. Just 4 days into 2019 my dad died and at the same time my grandma (dad’s mom) had a stroke. A couple more weeks into 2019 my mom was hospitalized due to her blood sugar being entirely out of whack. I was licensed as a Mental Health Clinician and offered a position at a private practice. I had many financial struggles, death of another friend, and many other trials and celebrations throughout the year. I was absolutely over it and I was thrilled. And we were just 4 months into the year!
I struggled emotionally. I felt at peace. I struggled financially. All of my needs were met. I struggled with life overall. I loved every moment of life. I had always relied on my faith. It was usually my safe place yet during this time I felt betrayed. I felt unheard and lonely. I felt confused! One day I felt lighter than usual and that’s when it hit me. The presence of something doesn’t mean absence of something else. The English language (through faith) helped me to appropriately identify my duality.
It was really quite simple. ‘But’ contradicts what was said prior to the ‘but’. When ‘and’ is used in a sentence it means both things are true. I began AND continue to use ‘and’. Life can be crazy AND beautiful. I can feel pain AND have peace. You can too! Give yourself space to acknowledge your feelings. They are your feelings. You are entitled to have them. We are complex beings. We can have two feelings at the same time. You don’t have to minimize either of those feelings. Allow both of them to be.
Use your words! Replace ‘but’ with ‘and’, and notice what changes. I am rooting for you! Happy healing!
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