The Power of Letting Go: Turning ‘What Could Have Been’ into Growth
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you feel sad or frustrated because things didn’t go the way you had envisioned? Sometimes, dwelling on the what could have been can be a slippery slope, as it pulls us away from the present. Moreover, it stifles future possibilities, keeping us tethered to past assumptions, roles, guilt, and unfulfilled desires.
When we envision or hope for something, it becomes real to us. We see it, feel it, and weave a narrative around it. In other words, the hope or dream we created is wrapped in our personal story.
These what could have beens are deeply personal and unique. They might include:
Career ambitions not unfolding as planned
Hopes or desires for your children
Longing for more time with a loved one
Relationships not turning out as expected
It’s okay to grieve the loss of what could have been. It’s also important to acknowledge the feelings connected to your hopes and dreams. But what we don’t want to do is live there. Process it? Yes. Work through it? Most definitely.
The real danger lies in getting stuck. That can lead to bitterness, sadness, and missing the opportunities that are within your reach. This isn’t to say your dreams were unrealistic—only that sometimes, we wear blinders to the many possibilities before us.
The beauty of allowing what could have been to become part of your history is the appreciation it fosters for what it once offered you. We can learn about ourselves by expressing gratitude for the dreams, needs, and wishes that served us in their time and helped us reach where we are today.
Sometimes, it’s enough that these what could have been moments helped you cope and get through another day. The key is recognizing when it's time to release outdated aspirations and embrace ones that align with where you are now.
Ask yourself: How can I show gratitude for the role this what could have been played in my life? You might reflect in stillness, journal about it, create art, or even let go of something physical that represents what you’ve been holding onto.
When you’re ready, imagine loosening the cord that ties you to these what could have been moments. After a moment of gratitude, turn toward the abundance of beautiful opportunities that surround you.
If you're seeking support in letting go of the past and embracing growth, the team at Halos Counseling is here to help—please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Erin Cook, EDd, is an experienced educator with a passion for helping individuals grow and thrive. As a guest blogger for Halos Counseling, she shares valuable insights on self-care and personal development. Her commitment to fostering mental well-being shines through in her writing and professional endeavors.