Insight from an Eight Year Old

I recently traveled to Philadelphia for a funeral with several of my sisters and my eight year old nephew, Ike (his nickname). To help pass time, I asked Ike if I could interview him and ask him a few questions. He said “sure”. I was curious prior to starting the interview at how much self-awareness he would have about himself and life around him. I think he hit it “out of the park” or maybe for him, since he is a skate boarder, he “shredded it”.

So, here we go - insight from an eight year old. I asked Ike, who is starting 3rd grade in August, what advice would he give to kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd graders. He shared at times school will be hard, though you need to find a way through it or around it. This answer felt very relatable to all the adults in the car and I would assume to your life too. 

I asked him to describe himself and he stated, “funny, problem solver, creative, and at times annoying.” I followed up on the annoying response to understand the root of what was driving that description when the other descriptors would appear to be more positive. He said because I talk too much. The adults in the car leaned in and said that talking too much can be a good thing too. He responded that talking is a positive thing when he is writing plays, or chatting at dinner, or as his mom added “talking and connecting to everyone in his cabin at summer camp”. I asked when was talking a bad thing and he indicated at school. He said, “sometimes the teachers call on me, so I start to talk, and then they don’t let me finish”. I think any adult reading this can interpret that many ways, but maybe in the course of my conversation with Ike, I was left wondering how often I ask kids or adults questions and don’t listen or shut them down.  On a side note, as a counselor I spend time trying to help clients talk, to open up, to bring the internal to the external, so maybe we all need to be aware of how we respond to kids talking. Are we being life-giving or deadening?

Along with being able to identify attributes about himself, he quickly named a few for his mom, dad, and older brother. His mom is a great problem solver. His dad is athletic. His older brother spends time playing with him and will sit with him during a scary part of a movie. He said family is who you get to spend time with and get along with. And what makes him feel loved is when his brother plays with him or his dog jumps on the couch with him. I think that last part could be true for the 40% of Americans who have a dog. What he enjoys about life is nature, being outside. And on a free day he wants to play with friends. Maybe at eight, Ike, already has a lot of life figured out.

So as you think about Ike’s story, or maybe your own kids, or grandkids please consider what Mental Health of America, states as the six basics for a child’s good mental health:  

·        Unconditional love from family

·        Self-confidence and high self-esteem

·        The opportunity to play with other children

·        Encouraging teachers and supportive caretakers

·        Safe and secure surroundings

·        Appropriate guidance and discipline

If any of your children or you need support establishing the six basic mental health needs for children reach out to Halos Counseling. Finding the right therapist in Charlotte or Shelby can be a challenge. Schedule a free consult with us to determine if we're a good fit for you.