How to Embrace Holiday Traditions Without Losing Yourself
We are currently in the midst of the holiday season, a time when many of us find ourselves busy with countless tasks and activities. Some of these we enjoy, while others can feel overwhelming. The holidays bring people together, stir up old memories, and invite us to create new ones. Ideally, it’s a time of joy and laughter with the ones we love.
But the holidays also bring with them tradition. To me, tradition is something I’m expected to do—something unchanging, repeated daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly, and often inherited from our families. I think about the traditions my parents passed down to me, the ones I was expected to carry out each year during the holidays. It was clear that pushing back on these traditions was not an option. What a joy robber!
Now, I’m not saying traditions are bad. There is beauty in them. The problem arises when traditions feel like obligations—when someone feels they have no choice but to carry them out simply because it’s what’s expected.
I encourage you to focus on welcoming new memories this holiday season. Let the old ones serve as reflections rather than blueprints we must recreate. Here are some questions to help guide you in welcoming new memories:
Where do I want to be?
Who do I want to include?
What do I want to be doing?
What traditions are important to me to uphold or begin?
It’s easier to move toward what we want when we are clear about it. Too often, we get stuck in complaints about what we don’t want instead of using our desires as a guide to move forward.
Another important consideration: What do the holidays mean to me? Traditions often come with core beliefs, passed down through generations, that we hold—sometimes without even realizing it. Our behaviors often protect these beliefs, even when they don’t align with what we truly want. By becoming aware of these beliefs, we gain the power to change them. This awareness allows us to align our actions with what is genuinely important to us.
Remember: This is your holiday too, and your desires matter. The traditions you choose to uphold—or begin—are valuable and valid.
Happy Holidays! I wish you joy, peace, and love during this season.
About the Author
Brad Vaughn, M.A., LCMHC, is a compassionate therapist who helps individuals and couples navigate challenges like anxiety, grief, and life transitions. With a down-to-earth approach, Brad encourages clients to reflect on what truly matters—like creating meaningful holiday memories. If you're ready to explore your path to greater joy and self-awareness, schedule a session with Brad today.