Finding Inner Peace: A Journey Through Emotional Maturity and Self-Reflection
Inner peace is a value of mine. To me, it means a state of internal calmness and emotional maturity, especially when internal conflicts arise. Emotional maturity is the ability to process internal and external conflicts within oneself and remain calm with the feelings and emotions that surface.
After I graduated from undergrad, I began writing about my experiences in college. I needed an outlet—a way to release what I was feeling. Holding everything in became too much. I cared deeply about the people involved in those experiences, and I felt guilty for speaking about them in a way I perceived as negative. I felt ashamed of many of the choices I made and was embarrassed to reveal them. I remember finishing my job each day and heading to the local coffee shop. On the evenings when I had no plans, I would write for several hours. It was freeing but painful to reflect on those times. I laugh now, thinking about how often I went there intending to write but ended up in spontaneous hangouts with people from the community. Those are some of my favorite memories—moments I can't fully recount because they exist now only as a pleasant feeling. I am grateful for those hangouts.
I recently found the flash drive with my college writings, and I've been reading through it. My heart aches for my younger self as I revisit those stories. I get emotional reading them—sadness for the younger Brad who struggled to find love in daily life, sadness for the hurt he inflicted on himself, and a sense of helplessness in how deeply others' behaviors affected him. Yet, there’s also joy because I know how those experiences have shaped me today. I feel empathy—a deep understanding and love for myself—and a sense of growth. Reading about my past behaviors, I see how they were attempts to create inner peace, even though they were self-destructive and hurtful to those around me. I believe, unconsciously, we all strive for inner peace. But the way we pursue it can sometimes create more internal and external conflicts—whether through fear that someone will take it from us, the belief that inner peace comes from others' approval, attention, or affection, or through self-harm and addictions (alcohol, substances, food, sex, etc.). These can hinder our ability to achieve true inner peace.
I encourage you to write down the behaviors stemming from the external conflicts in your life that create internal turmoil. Set them aside for a while (a day, a week, a month) and then revisit them. Reflect on your behaviors to understand what they were striving for at that moment. Then, brainstorm healthy ways to meet the needs your behaviors were seeking, without relying on others, self-harm, or addictions to fulfill those needs.
Today, many external conflicts affect us daily—presidential elections, natural disasters, wars, and much more. We also face personal conflicts. A lot of hurt, frustrations, and fears arise from these challenges. Lately, I've been asking myself: How will I find inner peace today? Am I contributing to external conflicts through my actions and words (posts)? How am I showing love to those around me? How am I allowing others to love me? What did I discover when I reflected on my day?
I am proud of where I am today. My inner future is bright, and that thought makes me smile. I wish each and every one of you inner peace.
About the Author: Brad Vaughn, LCMHC
Brad Vaughn is an experienced licensed mental health therapist at Halos Counseling. With a deep commitment to helping individuals navigate their emotional journeys, Brad brings a compassionate and insightful approach to therapy. He specializes in guiding clients toward finding inner peace, emotional maturity, and self-reflection. Brad believes that true healing comes from understanding and embracing our inner experiences, and he is dedicated to supporting others in their path toward personal growth and well-being.
If you’d like to schedule a session with Brad, reach out to Halos Counseling today. He is ready to support you in your journey toward inner peace and emotional wellness.